Wednesday, December 21, 2005

MY MERRY MERGED LETTER By Jacque the Cat Boy

It's not very often that I communicate to people this way, but in the second episode of Screaming Zilch I promise a merged Christmas letter.
Merged Christmas Letter - A letter that is sent during Christmas from distant friends or family that think you really give a shit about every detail of their year.

Oh what a long year it has been. Many unfortunate events have blessed me this year. I'm so excited I have enough energy and time to sit down and tell you everything. Starting in January my grandfather disappeared out of no where. He went to feed the cows and never came home, which left me and my family in complete shambles. At the end of January myself and a group of friends where attacked on a night out on the town, I rode home with cops I began to drink a lot due to these series of events, it helps mostly through the day. At least at night I can sleep, (sometimes with the help of a pill). The spring is still a little blurring to me. I did not leave work a lot and when I did I was sleeping. Let's not forget about April, The Battle of the Bridesmaid, once again here come the cops. Needless to say the bride walked down the isle in a beautiful gown and a black eye. (How fun is that!) At the beginning of the summer we found my grandfather's body floating in the river, once again a reunion with the cops. Papa I love you and miss you. I began to drink even more. Summer ended very hot. Every where I turned a girl was sticking their tongue down my throat. That would be great if I was not a queer. On to the fall... I won the Big Dick concert, grand prize $5 and the bouncers gave me my own personal escort out of the bar, no cops this time. Winter sprinkled in with a little flurry, and a few pounds, guess it's about time for cracker-stacker-snuff-&-puff! It's really cold now, so cold it makes my hands bleed. I hope you and every little person you know have a Merry Santamas.
P.S. Christ was born in the summer.
Shits and giggles,
Jacque the Cat Boy

Friday, December 16, 2005

Normal to CRAZY in three seconds flat!

So most of you females out there should be familiar with the "oh everything is fine lalalalalal" and the bam "ahhhhhhhh freak out", yes I am talking about the horrid uncontrollable freak out moments we, ladies, get for no apparent reason. And I bet there are plenty of you guys out there that have been the victim of these uncontrollable horrid freak outs, and yes they are uncontrollable at times. For all those guy victims that are innocent, sorry. For the ones that deserve a little freak out every once in a while, I'm not sorry. heeheeheeheeheehee But one thing you guys should understand is that before, during, and after the freak out, we know we are being irrational, but when you get to the point of "hey I am totally freaking out just because he won't eat mash potatoes with me, I am insane, I am being crazy!" there is no turning back, you have to for the sake of womanhood believe that your freak out was completely and utterly justified. Ok so after an hour or two; or next day or two; or sometimes never, we will or will not own up to our crazy ass moment, but until then just eat the damn mash potatoes!

Stone Baby McPie

We recorded two (yes, 2!!!) new tasty episodes last night! Frith only knows when the public will be able to listen, but rest assured it will be there... when you least expect it... creeping up on you like Jaws, or the Boogie Man, or... that stone baby that you didn't know was there for the last 40 years... Yes, yes... just like a stone baby...

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Merry Christmas to me

Well, I just finished blowing the rest of my holiday spending money on myself...
I had to unexpectedly get two new front tires. And then there was the pricey but necessary annual field trip to the gynecologist this morning.

So, Happy Holidays to me... All I got were tires and a doctor's hand up my vagina. mmm. Christmasy.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

PEEK-A-BOO I CAN SEE YOUR UNDER-ROOS!!!!


Hello everyone! We had a wild weekend, we celebrated my (Amy's) birthday, and I attended Jacque the Cat Boys company Christmas party with him. Needless to say the alcohol flowed freely this weekend, and this is the stick figure theatre version of how I found Jacque the Cat Boy after his Christmas party! Enjoy! Panties for everyone!

Friday, December 09, 2005

Techy vs. Crazy

At lunch today, Amy and I noticed just how difficult it is to tell the crazies from the techies. Thanks to whoever the hell thought those cell phone cyber-punk ear clips were a fab invention... Well, they never thought about what it would look like when someone had one in operation. Amy and I thought this guy at Carino's was having a freak out; he seemed to be having a lively little chat with a basket of tasty bread. After laughing ourselves into a state of teary embarassment, we realized he had an ear clip.

People of earth... do not use the cell phone ear clip.

Or we will laugh at you and the spectacle you make of yourself.

That is all.

Jacque the Cat Boy lovin' him some Monday!!!!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Shenanigans happen

that is all.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

The happy taste of poison...

As I sat here talking to Amy about how tasty Fresca is, and how awesome it is that it has no calories... I thought, "I wonder what's in this stuff?"

Well, it's basically poison and a wee bit 'o grapefruit juice.

Good. I can get a little nutrition from the fruity parts before all the brominated vegetable oil, EDTA, and glycerol ester of wood rosin do me in. And, you know, the aspartame will keep my corpse fresh.

Ah well... there's just a bit left in the can now. No use in wasting it.

What's Shakin', Cat-Face Meowsers?

Monday, December 05, 2005

Oh, and here's something...

Come and get it...

Episode II can finally be heard!

LICK IT
.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Face Rockage Will Commence

Show #2 will be posting very soon! As soon as curator Bob gets his act together over at the archive, we'll be ready to rock your face off!!!!!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

There is an Episode II, I promise



Still experiencing technical difficulties. We're all so very surprised about this.
Enjoy the cartoon, talk amongst yourselves, guess what color panties Jacque is wearing today.